mercredi, avril 19, 2006

STRAIGHT OVTTA LONDOUN


Forsoothe the winterye windes do falle adown into the softe springe


or some shizzle like that.


HAHAHAHA GOT U -- this iznt Geoff this is Lowys his son. I cant write all weird like Dad duz. I just write normal like everybod-E else.

I dunno why Dad calls me "litel lowys" Im like five inches taller. And what is up with his lame hat? Dude looks like a q-tip that got fat.

N E Way - Dad told me to put this entry up with my html skillz because Adam Linkfirst is away and Dad is out in Kent doing some stuff for our lord da King (trespuissant Richard Second Since da Conkwest roy dengleterre et dirlande et par grace de dieu roy de fraunce). So here I am to save teh day yo.

Big ups to all U gentils and churlz who read his blog like every day. You must not have N E thing else to do. PSYCHE! LOLZ I kinda want 2 put up some dirrty pictures or sometin’ or copy that centerfold of Katie Swin outta my FHM but then dad would like sell me to Flemings or something he would be so mad. He loves this blog almost as much as he loves that wack poem he keeps working on at night about pilgrims and all that.

SHOUTOUTZ TO ALL MY FRIENDS YO --- Humphrey I hope their not making you work too hard at tha ox2theford. Remember allz you gotta know for a benefice is "laudate" and somebody at court. And Jennet, aint no reason you gotta stay a recluse just because they walled you into that chizzurch. I got a chizel on its way to you LOLZ. Guy and Hugh I will C U tomorrow. You still owe me IIId. for the barge the other day.

So Dad is all like worried that I dont like all his weird ballad stuff and so he made this rap song for me. Which is kinda cool I guess except he like totally stole it from a NWA track and that shizznit is so old you can look it up in the domesday book. LOL! Im more into Eminem and Fiddy Shilling and Ludakris and I been gettin into some Reggaeton LOLZ.

okay I dont wanna bore yall scholars and stuff, so here is dadz rap song. he tried his best even if it does kinda all sound like one of those commercials where some old guy is trying to rap and he soundz about as legit as a pope trying to be humble – totally Barney Rubble “I like fruity pebbles in a major way” situati0n. OMG so happy Dizzad didnt do some lazy sunday joke thing. But dont tell him I said that and go easy on him. Hez my Dad. It cant be easy walking around with that stupid hat on LOLZ.

Okay, peace out yall

-Louis Chaucer

p.s. anybody wanna buy an astrilable (sp.?)? I’ll give it to you for one pound. Tell me soon OK before I put it on craigslist

p.p.s OMG crecy: knight commander is the best game ever for the Xbox CCCLX. All your aquitaine are belong to us!




STRAIGHT OVTTA LONDOUN

par Geoffroi Chaucer

Straight out of London: lunatike freke namede Geoff C,
From the covin callede “Kynges Affinitee.”
Men who confronte me, my dagger beth killynge them
Hange them on a hempe-rope lyk ther name was Tresilian-
Thou too, churl, an thou swyvst with me!
The marshalsea shal nede to detainen me
Off of youre culorum, thatte ys how ich am goinge outte:
For the drastye lollarde traytors, that ys showinge outte.
Gentils start to mumblen, they wolden rumblen,
Mix theme and cooke them in a brothe lyk oystren.
Goinge offe on a motherswyvere lyk that
With a gatte thatte ys poyntede at thyne erse
So relente and be beten:
Ther ys no knowyng, ich am so ferse forto fighten!
Here beth a ballade forto synge at morris
Wyth a romaunce like the rose so beloued of Guillaume Lorris.
Stressed-syllable poetiks ys my craft
Whanne ich haue the custoume house ylaft.
Thow and ich koulde goon pied-a-pied, yonge maye:
Ich breke statutz and hertes ech daye
Nay ech weeke, ech monthe, ech yere
Vntil th’exchequer shal put me yn the cleere
And ich shal purchasen sum goode launde in Kente.
Myn purchas shal be gretere than al my rente.
Yf ich checke thyn accountes best brynge me vino
For the labour doth chewen my brayne lyk Ugolino.
Yf my verse deliteth yow that ys my sole rewardoun
Ich kan nat rim, ram, ruf: ich am straight oute of Londoun!

31 Comments:

Anonymous Anonyme said...

Wherefore doth this most excellent post appear not in mine LJ? Methinks thine feed is broken.

jeudi, 20 avril, 2006  
Anonymous Lady Julian said...

By Goddes nipples, that olde wankere Johannes Gowere shal be vnto this poste comme le blanc sur le riz, yo!

jeudi, 20 avril, 2006  
Blogger Geoffrey Chaucer said...

'Wherefore doth this most excellent post appear not in mine LJ?'

I think its becuz the LJ feed only updates like every coupla hours.

-LC (using daddz account)

jeudi, 20 avril, 2006  
Anonymous Katheryne de Swynford said...

O, by sainte Hildegarde! That bytche Constanze hath given mower of those pictures about???? Waylaway -- the wrecch does her betest to me destroyen! Ah, Lewis -- yf thu shoult place thys pictures on-lyne, then by Godes woundes, I shal have thy mother, my suster moost dere, the lyvynge crappe from the ybete! And then I shal tell my Johne eke to take ybakke from the that X-Box and ne give unto the namower games for to playen upon hit. So mote it be!

jeudi, 20 avril, 2006  
Anonymous LiT said...

Lowys, here is something fun that you can do someday when you get bored: ask your dad what "rim, ram, ruf" means. It's a highly obscure reference, and I'm sure he'll take great pleasure in explaining it to you.

jeudi, 20 avril, 2006  
Anonymous Hermit said...

"All your aquitaine are belong to us!" BSL. Thate ise halirious shite. I hath sent it to alle mine friends.

jeudi, 20 avril, 2006  
Blogger Just D said...

A Q-Tip that got fat???

A riot I tell ya.

jeudi, 20 avril, 2006  
Blogger Marve said...

Is it just me, or does anyone else want to hear the guy from "Songs to Wear Pants To" actually record this rap?

jeudi, 20 avril, 2006  
Blogger Naomi F. said...

Truer words were never spoken.

vendredi, 21 avril, 2006  
Blogger Slangwhanger-in-Chief said...

Poure mee more metheglyn, mine friende
and Y youre songe proclaimen shalle
fro eche steeple every onne
that lieth in the vale of olde Londoun. Waye to rocke, Geoff! Kewl dad thou hast, Lowys! Whanne thou shalt take yt upon thee to mocke his olden hairs, Lowys, thynke thou forwarde to whanne thine owne sonne shalt mayhaps jeste upon thine taste in shoon. For well been it sayde, "Shoon are the newe haire."

vendredi, 21 avril, 2006  
Blogger Gwan said...

Verraily thou hast a parfit gentil blog. Bot me were levere thou tok pité on olde Gowere, for Agnes Groundolf hast seyde that he is nat a lusty lovyere and she is swyved bot rarely and ravisshed nevere.

vendredi, 21 avril, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

Should you be talking about your Aunt Katharine that way?

samedi, 22 avril, 2006  
Blogger FSJL said...

Ich ben bethought thatte thisse rappe musique beth a goode way the byrdes to pulle.Littel Lowis, methinks thyn fadre shall have a covy of er, fair damsels and ladyes of the evening to maken hys train.

lundi, 24 avril, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

Spekyng of thyne astrolabe...
Canst thou wat becamst of that povre babe ycallid 'Astrolabe' bi la belle dame Heloise, the childe sche haddst bi the nowe sadliy sackless wondir, Magister Abelard? Y thoghte me no namyng could be more roten, but thanne there ys 'Apple' Paltrow--tis so crewl hit astonyeth yit my thoughte. Wat pepil wold highte a childe aftir Eva's synne... tis wikkid enough to byname a yonge bastarde for a cheep-asse constellacion-plotter which doth notte even tell thy fortune bi the stars verily for the morepart. As for the po' minstrel of NWA who callys hisself aftir the squarid roche of yse, Y saye tis a feble fundament, BSTK, to bilden on a place hye.

lundi, 24 avril, 2006  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

"All your acquitaine are belong to us!"

That HAS to go on a t-shirt.

mardi, 25 avril, 2006  
Blogger Gwan said...

Certayne, Ich hadde ane merie jape atte sir Goweres accompte, bot in erneste, Ich hadde a prophetik swevene (and as eny cokke wot, daun Catoun speketh of the veritee of swevenes). In this swevene, Ich saw there shall be a scrivener hote daun Shakespeare, of grete renoun, and thisse Shakespeare shall deme Gowere the bettre poete, as witnesseth Shakespeare his play Pericles. Whatte seyestow to that, daun Chaucere?

mardi, 25 avril, 2006  
Blogger FSJL said...

Littel Lowis, spende nat alle your tresour opon swyving.

mardi, 25 avril, 2006  
Blogger Nortius Maximus said...

Cher Lowis WHVT VPPE I hv fovnd a ridick OLDE SKUL BATL online http://www.luc.edu/publications/medieval/vol16/16ch7.html HIC HAEC HOC to the ballz!!! Unkle Nort thinks its rad but itzzz funnier than a lepers crutch if you rede it on india weed PAX OVT hope Nortivs dont find ovt i krakked hys lame PW LOLZZZ

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Anonymous Anonyme said...

For sooth meinen bruder! Be nat ye byjaped, this rym that yower father wroght is off the chaynes! Myne mann GC sleen alle other MC’s euen yf noon auctoritee t’allegge whan he taketh from the NWA. He stille be greter than Fiddy Shillynge, and he ber ful thriftily his quille for he wright in hy sentence. Anyway, how hath yow been? M’athynketh Ich cleped thou thrice and stille yow answerynge are nat. hath yow chenged yower nomber? Yow moot yeve me the new oon anon. Ther be this clubbe en dountoune Dertemouthe that ys of ille complexioun. Clepen me bruder!

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