STRAIGHT OVTTA LONDOUN
Forsoothe the winterye windes do falle adown into the softe springe
or some shizzle like that.
HAHAHAHA GOT U -- this iznt Geoff this is Lowys his son. I cant write all weird like Dad duz. I just write normal like everybod-E else.
I dunno why Dad calls me "litel lowys" Im like five inches taller. And what is up with his lame hat? Dude looks like a q-tip that got fat.
N E Way - Dad told me to put this entry up with my html skillz because Adam Linkfirst is away and Dad is out in Kent doing some stuff for our lord da King (trespuissant Richard Second Since da Conkwest roy dengleterre et dirlande et par grace de dieu roy de fraunce). So here I am to save teh day yo.
Big ups to all U gentils and churlz who read his blog like every day. You must not have N E thing else to do. PSYCHE! LOLZ I kinda want 2 put up some dirrty pictures or sometin’ or copy that centerfold of Katie Swin outta my FHM but then dad would like sell me to Flemings or something he would be so mad. He loves this blog almost as much as he loves that wack poem he keeps working on at night about pilgrims and all that.
SHOUTOUTZ TO ALL MY FRIENDS YO --- Humphrey I hope their not making you work too hard at tha ox2theford. Remember allz you gotta know for a benefice is "laudate" and somebody at court. And Jennet, aint no reason you gotta stay a recluse just because they walled you into that chizzurch. I got a chizel on its way to you LOLZ. Guy and Hugh I will C U tomorrow. You still owe me IIId. for the barge the other day.
So Dad is all like worried that I dont like all his weird ballad stuff and so he made this rap song for me. Which is kinda cool I guess except he like totally stole it from a NWA track and that shizznit is so old you can look it up in the domesday book. LOL! Im more into Eminem and Fiddy Shilling and Ludakris and I been gettin into some Reggaeton LOLZ.
okay I dont wanna bore yall scholars and stuff, so here is dadz rap song. he tried his best even if it does kinda all sound like one of those commercials where some old guy is trying to rap and he soundz about as legit as a pope trying to be humble – totally Barney Rubble “I like fruity pebbles in a major way” situati0n. OMG so happy Dizzad didnt do some lazy sunday joke thing. But dont tell him I said that and go easy on him. Hez my Dad. It cant be easy walking around with that stupid hat on LOLZ.
Okay, peace out yall
p.s. anybody wanna buy an astrilable (sp.?)? I’ll give it to you for one pound. Tell me soon OK before I put it on craigslist
p.p.s OMG crecy: knight commander is the best game ever for the Xbox CCCLX. All your aquitaine are belong to us!
STRAIGHT OVTTA LONDOUN
par Geoffroi Chaucer
Straight out of London: lunatike freke namede Geoff C,
From the covin callede “Kynges Affinitee.”
Men who confronte me, my dagger beth killynge them
Hange them on a hempe-rope lyk ther name was Tresilian-
Thou too, churl, an thou swyvst with me!
The marshalsea shal nede to detainen me
Off of youre culorum, thatte ys how ich am goinge outte:
For the drastye lollarde traytors, that ys showinge outte.
Gentils start to mumblen, they wolden rumblen,
Mix theme and cooke them in a brothe lyk oystren.
Goinge offe on a motherswyvere lyk that
With a gatte thatte ys poyntede at thyne erse
So relente and be beten:
Ther ys no knowyng, ich am so ferse forto fighten!
Here beth a ballade forto synge at morris
Wyth a romaunce like the rose so beloued of Guillaume Lorris.
Stressed-syllable poetiks ys my craft
Whanne ich haue the custoume house ylaft.
Thow and ich koulde goon pied-a-pied, yonge maye:
Ich breke statutz and hertes ech daye
Nay ech weeke, ech monthe, ech yere
Vntil th’exchequer shal put me yn the cleere
And ich shal purchasen sum goode launde in Kente.
Myn purchas shal be gretere than al my rente.
Yf ich checke thyn accountes best brynge me vino
For the labour doth chewen my brayne lyk Ugolino.
Yf my verse deliteth yow that ys my sole rewardoun
Ich kan nat rim, ram, ruf: ich am straight oute of Londoun!