falsnesse and the fals feendes who telle suche

Benedicitee, good readers alle!  I am out hyntyng with General Toe, famed general of Cathay, but I muste alerte yow, good readeres alle, to a hurtful and peynfulle falsnesse, of the whych thyng I have been ytold.

The mooste fals and churlische Marco Polo, thatte jerke, hath a posse.  And thys posse doth proclaim the falsnesse of Marco Polo's supposed travels in a presentacioun of some kynde.  But yt ys nat soth, that Marco Polo crossed the saltee see as have I!  Marco Polo could nat swym across the Grand Canale, much the lesse come hither to Cathay!

Sothliche, I met Marco Polo at a taverene yclept Harries in Venice, long ago.  Marco Polo--thatte wrecche!--was a washere of dishes and stemwarre at Harries, and after I had ydronke much Tuscan wyne that Marco ystole myne manuscriptes and claimed them as hys owne!  O Marco Polo, I schal myself avenge upon yow when I retourn from the wynter home of the good General Toe!

Until then, good readeres, boy-cott the fals posse of Marco Polo!  They claimeth that they would speke of theyre lies at the "Medieval Clubbe of Newe York," but thys proveth their unconnyng: there beeth nat no Newe York, and they be nat in the myddle of no thynge or tyme but rather they dryve me to the ende of my wittes!

Sir John in Cathay!

Benedicitee, good readeres alle!  Sir John Mandeville heere, havying crossed the see once moore on the kynges privee businesse and arrived at the court of the Greet Khan in Cathay!  Thus I begge yowre pardoun for my longe silence; I was passyng over the sees and the sandy wastes into Cathay.

But ooh, gentiles, lat me telle yow of the wondres of Cathay!  The Greet Khan hath accepted me ynto hys servyce on be-halfe of Kynge Richard, and I have y-seene many and diverse wonderes in the monthes I have y-spent in hys service.

*I have y-seen a greet merveyl, a machyne that pryntes pages, the whych can be fashioned ynto bookes!

*Cathay hath muchel paper, the whych mateere they fashion from the pulpe of reedes and trees.

*Myne newe freende, the most noble General Toe, hath yshewen me a thyng called gun-powdere, the whych animates artillerie, the whych thynges General Toe uses to hunt the wild chikkenes of Manchuria, the which fowles hys cookes make ynto a most riche and choice nourischment.

General Toe hath invyted me to joyne hym in the wildes of Manchuria in the dayes aheed.  I have been learning about gun-powdere and preparing to go ynto the hunt for the wild chikkenes.  As always, I schal keep yow apprised of my aventures!