Sir John in Cathay!

Benedicitee, good readeres alle!  Sir John Mandeville heere, havying crossed the see once moore on the kynges privee businesse and arrived at the court of the Greet Khan in Cathay!  Thus I begge yowre pardoun for my longe silence; I was passyng over the sees and the sandy wastes into Cathay.

But ooh, gentiles, lat me telle yow of the wondres of Cathay!  The Greet Khan hath accepted me ynto hys servyce on be-halfe of Kynge Richard, and I have y-seene many and diverse wonderes in the monthes I have y-spent in hys service.

*I have y-seen a greet merveyl, a machyne that pryntes pages, the whych can be fashioned ynto bookes!

*Cathay hath muchel paper, the whych mateere they fashion from the pulpe of reedes and trees.

*Myne newe freende, the most noble General Toe, hath yshewen me a thyng called gun-powdere, the whych animates artillerie, the whych thynges General Toe uses to hunt the wild chikkenes of Manchuria, the which fowles hys cookes make ynto a most riche and choice nourischment.

General Toe hath invyted me to joyne hym in the wildes of Manchuria in the dayes aheed.  I have been learning about gun-powdere and preparing to go ynto the hunt for the wild chikkenes.  As always, I schal keep yow apprised of my aventures!

19 comment "Sir John in Cathay!"

  1. What need have we for this machyne you speake of? Mayhap the heathens might have use for such thingges, but surely we in Christendom--indeed, and Jewdom--have long since passed any such need, what with our blogges and suchlike.

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  2. This bloge yow hav creted is briliant. I dere sai yow are a fin felow for continouing wit a dreme and keaping traddition alyve. Haav yow seen ani goode movies as awf lat? And I wonted to know hwhat yow thowght abowt the neew Beowulf moovi that is cuming owt son? Do yow think it wil be intyresting? I also think oure cullture is chaanging so quickli. What do yow think abowt society today? I faind lyf is so faast paced and peoplle do not apreciate naatur lyke thay used too.

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  3. Baxley thee marchant heere. Sir John Mandeville, I eek have seen the wondres of Cathay. The machyne that pryntes is mervelouse, but I reed beth ware of gun-powdere.
    So bifel, a man while venerye birdes shoote his compeer in thee face.
    But he was wood. You wys Sir sikerly shatow beth ware.

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  4. Myn techer hath maad myn clas poste to yor bloge. I hav never writen this way befor. Wee aree reding yor taals in classe, thei seeme to be veri enjoyable. Thank yow for themee

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  5. Hayle ye Chaucer. Iyv'e juste rede thye bloge mercredi, octobre 17, 2007
    Sir John in Cathay! Ande funde partse of yt toe bee verilie disturbyng. Ye saye thate the native peplis emploie thy use of gunpowdere. This scares mi becuse dont ye knowe thate gunpowdere bee thy ind of thy middle Agys. Thate yt is frome gunpowdere thate alle of thy evyl and vyle dedes bee doon. Ye shulde stoppe theme frome implementyng thy use of thy stufes ande tele theme thei nede yt note.

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  6. Since the use of paper had already reached Islamic Spain by the 11th century and was being manufactured in Italy by the 13th, and the English themselves used primitive cannons at the battle of Crecy in 1346, I don't imagine that a contemporary of Chaucer would have had to go to China to learn of such wondrous new products.

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  7. I didn't understand a word thou wrote.
    but this blog killed me anyway.
    :D

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  8. Sir Jehan hath writ:

    General Toe hath invyted me to joyne hym in the wildes of Manchuria in the dayes aheed.

    Dost this mak thee a Manchurian candydat?

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  9. richard, second of that name, kyngOctober 27, 2007 at 5:22 PM

    Sire Johan: Certeyne ladyes of the courte realle have bade mee asken thee to inquire of General Toe in what manere hys chikenes mighten ycoked bin.

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  10. Sir John

    I fear that chickens chased by chinks with gunpowder will mean lean pickings for the pot.

    Truly it is a civilised society that goes to the hunt with hounds

    Please to remember the Gunpowder Plot.

    Respectfully,
    His Majesty's loyal subject
    Sally.

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  11. Ma chere Sally,

    Kan we keep off from the racial slurres? Ywis, 'tis nat gentil.

    -GC

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  12. Dear Master Chaucer

    My sincere apologies for being the cause of such a slur appearing on your blog.

    As a crip, I am so used to discrimination (yes, it happened today as well) that I am not as aware of the offence I give to others that I should be. Thank you for your kindly reminder.

    My apologies to all those good souls hailing from China, your good self, and our Sovereign King Richard II whose wise and just laws and Person I am in danger of offending (again).

    Pardon please.

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  13. Ma Chere Sally,

    Grant merci for yower gentil response. Ye see, ich muste thinke of swich thinges as might causen despleasance to al maner rederes of this blog, from al places in this wyde globe of the erthe (and it is a thing of no litel joye to me that rederes comen heere from manye landes).

    For mynself, ich am touchie about fat jokes.

    Le Vostre

    GC

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  14. The merveilles of the farre Orient aren certes wondereuse. Ich made the longe voyage unto the empyre of Zipangu, which is verilye a visioun of tymes to come. In that eylond ther is a cariage ycleped schin-can-sen that runneth swifter thanne arowes flight. Thou mayst deme it phantasye, but ich didde trauelle in swich conueyaunce from the towne of Yedo unto the towne of Nagoya, sume lxxvi englysshe leagues distaunt, in lesse thanne two houres!

    Spekynge of the Orient, who is this anonyme that writeth commentes in characteres of Cathay and wordes withouten grammarye? His scribblynges aren lyke unto a loafe ymade of the unwanted bittes of swines flesshe. This persoun is verilye a pestilence upon the internette and shold be yhanged from the galowes tree.

    ReplyDelete
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