hotte or nat

Plese uote for me and saye that ich am hotte. Peraventure my peynture may plese nat the moderatoures (for it is a manuscripte and ich haue but litel cleavage), yet lette vs yive this a trye!

up-date: Helas! It plesede hem nat. "Sorry, the moderators decided that your picture submission is inappropriate
for HOT or NOT."

30 comment "hotte or nat"

  1. Verraily, thou art over-hoot for that page; thyn ymage hath brent it thurgh!

  2. I still voted for you. You're way hot.

  3. BSL, thise cherles ycleped "moderatoures" doon thee sory iniustise. Yf thou hadde nat a wyf and sonne, verraily wolde ich pounce vpon the! A maydes herte moghte withstonde a litel woolen hatte al oon, yit sithen ich kon reden eek of thi wordes, treweliche cupides arrwe perceth thurgh myn ye. Ich do craue som textueel heelyng!

  4. Forsitan haec effigies melior est:

    Illam nuper vidi in Tate Britanniae, iuxta curiam Westmonasterii ubi laboras.

  5. Ne Geeoffrey be not downecaste, thou may'st nat be hat but lyk unto yonder bolde wench ich eke luste aftir thee somthinke rotene for thine grete wytte aloune.

  6. Som folke ben ful herde to plesen.

  7. Mayster Chaucer, methynketh ye hauen ytaken ouermoche colde metes and drynkes, wherefore if ye hauen passyng metes that speden the blode and the colere yelwe, ye sholden hauen voyses vnto your hottenesse.

    Ye reherste in your merueylous tretys the Tales of Caunterbury the poyntes of oone monke that was ful mannly forhwy he ate mychel leekes and garleek and onyounes. And thus methynketh ye sholden these wortes assayen vnto your borde. But ony epotecares rede shal forsooth surpassen myn oune.

    Sir Percyual of Wales

  8. Thyn heet exceedeth by farre that to the which thatte site coulde toleraten.

  9. Dost thou wish that thine love was in thy arms, and thyself in thy bedde againe?

    Dost thou wish thou coulde swyve like a lusty Clerke?

    Be not timorous, for the tinieste Worm may be growne unto a mighty Serpente by the intercession of y blessed Sainte Guignole! Yea, merchantes in distant Cathay are blessede with relics of the verie Sainte, and by your golde will fain equippe thee with them! Y selfesame merchantes are also possessed with great and wondrous Alchymies for the cheering of the soul, and with much knowledge beneficial to the Trader at his crafte!

  10. Heu!

    Namoore, praye ich thee. :D For certes, icham feye fallen adoun of murthe!

  11. Ma Cher Fionnghuala,

    "one-upped, even outdone"?

    Le Vostre GC

  12. Bi Goweres unwasshyd mooder, an heretick! The aduertisement & othere myrie rederes discourses me tickleth in soth, but certes, oure Geoffrey is outdoon in no wyse.

  13. Then full of griefe and anguish vehement,
    Mod'ratours lowd brayed, that like was neuer heard,
    And from their wide deuouring ouen sent
    A flake of fire, that flashing in his beard,
    Him all amazd, and almost made affeard:
    The scorching flame sore swinged all his face,
    And through his armour all his bodie seard,
    That he could not endure so cruell cace,
    But thought his blogg to leaue, and laptopp to vnlace.


  14. Um... I was... er, sorry, ich wys wunderbarin' um... hellfire I can hardly speak bloody english not this new-fangled nonsense you strange people have made up. What's wrong with you kids today anyway?! Always running around with your crazy slang and your bizzare typing and coded messages, I think it's disgraceful and oughtn't to be allowed, that's what I think. Just disgraceful.

    Mangling the language like that. What about the children, huh? Don't you know children read these things? What are they gonna do when they see this corrupted speech you've invented? They're having hard enough troubles 'n school without walking around saying 'ich bein ein berliner' or whatever! Ye gods man, have you no sense of decency? Won't you think of the children?

    I think this Generation X nonsense has gone far enough now. Knock it off and learn to spell you crazy hooligans!

    Would somebody please translate this post into teenager-speak for me please? I want to make sure they understand what I'm saying since I can't speak their crazy language anymore. Thank ye!

  15. Verilie, Ich (a childe of seven ynd ten yeers) hast reade goode Chaucer's Blogge and canst countinue to speake thee Kyng's owne Ynglish. Craban, yt doos nae harme.

  16. You sure? After I read some o' dis strange slang I spent an hour tryin' to talk to someone and they kept askin' me why I was prounoucin' an extra 'e' after me words.

    I think there's somefin' afoot here, and I'd just hate for this stuff to spread to the general public. I can't imagine my sainted Grandfather saying "ich" or whatever - it'd break my little heart, (especially since I think the old goat's been dead for twenty years or so now... hmmm).

    Anyway, I guess you kids know best, but you've got to realize that using slang is not acceptable in most formal settings and if you say something like "lyk unto younder bolde wench" at a job interview you're not going to get the job, I promise ya.

    So be careful.

    Oh... and... um... my enormously bloated and hideous ego demands I point out that me name is "craban" and not "Craban." I'm not sure why it makes such a difference, but if I don't point it out I'm going to spend hours trying to prevent it from rushing off and eating Delaware or something.


  17. and if you say something like "lyk unto younder bolde wench" at a job interview you're not going to get the job, I promise ya.

    I see the most honorable craban is unfamiliar with the types of jobs for which many of the regulars here would be interviewing.

  18. craban:

    ...I am not sure if you are serious, but if so, my conscience won't allow me to witness this unfortunate misunderstanding. This is not slang. This is Medieval English (also known as Middle English). There's absolutely no chance of it spreading to the general public and corrupting the youth, I assure you!!

    If you were not serious, well, pardon my inability to tell the difference and I salute you on your joke at my expense. :)

  19. even I, a stranger in a strange land, think you are way hot. Even hotter than that barber-surgeon House, MD. And that's saying something.

  20. Ma cher GC,

    Myn freendes and I have conceived a straunge desyre for thee to synge some versioun of Electric Six, "Gay Bar." Canst thou oblige us?


  21. Ich wolde to Craban seye that hee sholde waite
    Till onderstandinge rechede to hys gate;
    Of whatte we speke, and eke of what we wryte,
    Tis of swich stuff that the best poetes endite.

    Be nat so swifte to jape nor yet to scorne,
    Lest for thyn crimes thyn lockes ben yshorne;
    Owre tongues ben sypple and owre pennes ben wyse,
    Lerne thisse and owre speche ben simple to surmise.

    For scholers of the hedge or middling sorte,
    Swich verse as thisse ben but an simple sporte.
    Do nat with Chavcer quarrel nor yet fight,
    Or he will crush thee with his maker's might.

  22. Does Jack Straw ever show up on this blog? And if he does, how do you tell whether he's the rebel or the cabinet minister?

  23. No, that ne'er-do-well ne'er shows up heere.

  24. Ma Chere Rymenhild,

    Myn freendes and I have conceived a straunge desyre for thee to synge some versioun of Electric Six, "Gay Bar." Canst thou oblige us?

    Helas, meseemeth that ys a straunge ballade that the Electric VI synge. For ich haue sene many cases at the barre ypledid, and ther was ful litel gaietee at any of hem. The barre of lawe is a place of sorwe and tene, ich trowe.

    And eek, my voys is ful smal and gruff and ich haue but litel yift for singinge. At meetinges of the Puy, ich usuallie 'cleere the floore' whan ich perfourme machaut karaoke.

    Yet peraventure, litel Lowys wolde singen sum thyng, for he useth his turntables and his programme of 'garageband' to make many a roundel, virelaye, and phat jam.

    Le Vostre

  25. My Good and Trewe Knight Sir Percyvale,

    Ye reherste in your merueylous tretys the Tales of Caunterbury the poyntes of oone monke that was ful mannly forhwy he ate mychel leekes and garleek and onyounes. And thus methynketh ye sholden these wortes assayen vnto your borde.

    Methinketh ye japen at me, sir. For the louere of leekes and garleek in my prologue generale (the which is a right payne in the tuckus to write, ich trowe) is a fals somonour and a scurrilous, and for that he eteth swich stronge herbes he hath the maner of acne that wyth out fail afflicteth a brady child bi for a date or a daunse. Certes, noble sir, ye wolde nat trick me yn to getting bad skin, wolde ye?

    Le Vostre

    p.s. yt is general prologue CCCCCCXXIII ad CCCCCCXXXV to which ich refer

  26. Dere Geoffrey,

    For certes, yow are hotte. Ich know nat the resoun why your peynture hath nat plese the moderatoures of hotte or nat. To hem Ich wol complayne. Ich thynk tis actualy the moderatoures who are nat hotte. I am sory that your hottenesse was denyd. Thys fact maketh my hert hevy. Who careth that yow submiteth a manuscripte and nat an ymage with a loot of cleavage? I wolde stil uote for yow! Yf yt maketh yow fele beter, Ich wol be your quene and yow can be my kyng.

  27. Totally should be a shirts-off pick to show off your killer poetry abs!

    Still it lets me vote and then tells me your ranking is a ?.

  28. We really love your blog, i haven't seen you keeping the posts in in some time now. Is everything ok. You can reach me here = website traffic@simply pet Thanks Again Rob Dog Crates, Dog Toys ( Dog Supplies & Cat Supplies Pet Store, Dog Collars)

  29. Sic Transit Gloria Humanorum...


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