Vnpleasant September

It hath been longe syn ich haue writen eny thing for my blog. Pour voir dire For to speken trewely, ther beth but litel mirthe and solaas yn myn hous, and lik-wise in al the houses of Engelonde. Al the moneth of August and nowe yn to the temperat moneth of September, mony tidynges haue yronne thurgh the reaume of a greet navie fleet of shippes that the Frensshe haue gadrid at Sluys. Every shire feareth an invasioun!

And thus Philippa is al vp on me about goinge to Londoun for Parlement. Ich am yerne to goon to speke of the gret matirs of the reaume wyth ful loial corage, and to peraventure do sum ‘networkinge’ that may winne me a bettir job. And yet Philippa wisheth me to stayen at hoom.

Alwey she saith thus: “Forwhy dide Godde yive thee eares, Geoffrey, whan thou opst hem nat to eny sense? Thou art ever frowarde, that dare I swear. Al the folke of London murmren as bees doth in an hyve that the Frensshe shal eftsoon come to Londoun-toun and maken siege and assaut vpon it! Kanst thou, Geoffrey, holde off the knightes of Fraunce wyth yower games of video, or wyth yower litel woolen hatte?”

And she hath a poynt, for Tommy Vske hath wroot me of the hullabaloo that taketh place in Londoun thes dayes. Al who kepen menage hous in Londoun haue been commandid to laye doun store of provisions ynogh for III moneths if the Frensshe should make siege. And sum men of Londoun, y trowe, haue torne the houses doun that stood neigh to the walles, to make hem moore redy for defens. And the fishmongeres hath preparid greet trebuchets machines of werre with whiche they shal hurle salt-herringe at the foe-men whanne they come up the Thamis. The poulterers haue trained XL cokkes to fly wyth bombes of fyre and poudre yfastned to ther talons, and droppe doun vpon the shippes of the Frensshe. Ther haue eek ben sum suggestions involving serpentes. And sum men flee the citee, or dispend al ther worldlie goodes for thei thinke they shal haue but litel tyme left to lyve as fre men.

And eek no soul speketh wel of the Frensshe in al of Engelonde. Ywis, in eny phrase or name which bifor had the wordes ‘Frensshe’ or ‘Fraunce,’ nowe for loue of Engelonde and Seynt George and good Kyng Richard al men say in sted ‘Magna Carta.’ And thus we eten of ‘Magna Carta fries’ and ‘Magna Carta breed’ and do ower legal pledinge in ‘Law Magna Carta.’ Ich chide litel Lowys for ‘Magna Carta kissinge’ on dates and the whil ich wayte up for hym to return ich do rede wyth muchel delit the lais of ‘Marie de Magna Carta.’ Syn everychoon pretty much still useth the Magna Carta language for commerce, and chevisaunce, and lawe, thinges are a bit of a mess.

And thus al is nat wel chez chaucer at myn hous. Parlement a big meetinge? Parliament shal be a tyme to speken of gret matirs, for the kinge nedeth moneye for defens. No matir what Philippa saith, ich feere no Magna Carta invasion of Londoun, and ich shal go and speke for my shire. Eek, ich shal pick up sum of my annuittees and also ich am supposid to testify for my lord and buddy Sir Richard Scrope. And it shal be good to see Tommy Vske ayein. Also, it wolde much plese me to see thos trayned attak chickens.

Ich shall writ ayein whanne ich come to Londoun! Parliament openeth on october 1st. Ich haue ben toold that ther shal be a recepcioun wyth shrimpe cocktailes on the first daye. Also, my lord the kinge hath sente me a liste of 'talking poyntez.'

Le VostreYoweres treuli,

GC