A NEW ORDER: A WORD FROM YOWER EDITOR

by THOMAS FAVENT

Benedicite, loial rederes and loveres of the realm of Engelonde. Tis I, Thomas Favent, new editor of thys extreme blog, the which bringeth yow hot new content about every thing and eny thing that is approved by the Lords Appellant, rightful managers of the realm of Engelonde. Ich am just chillinge in my awesome apartment and listeninge to sum tunes (latest Favent fave: Werewolf Fortnight -- chekke out the track "Oxford Nominalism").

Yt semeth a fewe thinges are nat sinkinge in: no, John Gower is in no way affiliated wyth thys blog. As hath been made cleare as daye, this blog is y-owned and y-sponsored by the Lords Appellant and y-edited by yoweres trulie. TEN KINDES OF NO TO THE GOWER RUMORS, people.

And on toppe of that: rederes, plese cease yower tresonous clamour and slandirs. Yt ys yower duetee to God and to Engelonde to loue thys blog. Desist from yower cries for the return of Chaucer, for swich a thyng shall nat happen eny tyme soon. As ich haue explained, the blogge is oweres and Chaucer ys in a place from which he shal nevir return (Las Vegas, likely a buffet). The following persons haue y-maad tresonous commentes and shal be taken in: Kem, Nightsky, Bobbie, Michael, Allie, and Mr. Farty. And while Ich am at it: Anonyme, the "y" is optional.

Finallye: plese, ich praye yow in the name of Seynt Lohan, a litel less tresoun and a litel more apprecioun? Pretty plese? My bosses aren kynde of “resultes-oriented," and ich haue nevir been crazie about the view from the top of a poost on London bridge. Just shewe a litel loue for poor Thomas Favent who hath peraventure seyde sum thinge to Bolingbroke to the effect of "yif I wryte nat an awesome blog, ich wol yeve yow myn heed." TE HEE. TE HEE HEE HEE. TE HEE, ergh.

Okaye, tyme for yower update. We are poosting it soon, wyth the ayde of the hottest scrybes.