Affayres Presente

Geffrey hath sayd I ought to speke of affayres presente and of courtlie gossip. Here is some gossip for yow: Constanze de Castelle is a bytch and I hate hir.
As for affayres presente, let us seen what the town cryer hath sayd:


THRE MENN CROSSHEN TO DEETH AT LONDON PREMIR OF HUCHOUNES WERKES.

Atte premir of the werkes of Hugh of Eglington, who be clepen “Huchoun” for causes nat beknowen*, in a manifeste of manye of hys meynee, dede rampeth on the platteform whilst he sange The Aventures of Arthure, ful ycwellynge thre menn in swych deede. Huchoun pleynte and tolde the thringe to moven ybak, but ne dede he nat don awey the avauncynge folke, who creyed “Swoote Susanne, Swoote Susanne!” whych be hys moost wel belovede poem.
“Divers menn weren crosshed to deeth ower stempen,” sayd William Walworth inne declaracioun. The persounes deede ne were wooten nat atte tyme thyse informacioun was gathered. In alle, thre deyed in the desastre.


*Ywit he be so cleped because of hys devocioun to estupide “anime” shewes from the oryent.

I shoulde nat lesse my childeren to seen thyse anime shewes. I have seen what hit doth – hit maketh menne wisshe to seen nat no thynge but anime, and neightest thou knowest, thy childeren are donnynge animal clothyng and “yiffyng” eche othere.

A, my childeren. Sin hit be sommer, they goon oute forto pley a gretely deel. But to morrowe we shal goon out togetheres, forto gathere strewen-berries. From hem I shal make a gode breede ower cake, mo bet than thatte yvel breede I assayed to maken afore.

KdS

9 comment "Affayres Presente"

  1. Ye will nat unto chirche ygo?

    ReplyDelete
  2. richard, seconde of that name, kyngeJuly 1, 2006 at 4:24 PM

    Be welcome ladye. It beth ane eville and ane worrisome thynge thatte these Scots makars do about myn kingdome goe causing the deeth of myn honest subjectes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. FSJL --

    I thoughte chirche should be a given mattir. Yis, we haven goon to chirche eek, and we are donnynge forto goon to the feeldes of Southwark ynow. Certes I shall telle of any avventures ower swych chaunces that come of hit.

    My Lord Kinge Richard --

    May Gode graunten ye a godely day! Howe be mattires goon with ye? Yow have nat comen forto visiten ne to haven cockale in so longe a time. Yf hit be yower solaas yow mighten come ful soon atte Savoye. I shall haven fresshe strewen-berrie cakke to-nighte!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Make ye not breede on the Sabbath daye, ladye. But here fynden mine receipt of breede. Maistow fynd it plaisaunt.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Strevven-berrie cake delighteth Vs uuell, madame, and UUe shalle in ovre progresse vnto Ovre Hovse atte Keuue uisit thee atte the Savoie.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wacky Hermit --

    That thyng aboute breede on the sabath is oonly for bakiers. As longe as I doe nat pleye nurse for Constaunze on the sabath ower loke at the countynge-bokes for Kettlethorpe, I am gode.
    Thy breede recipt semeth a worthy oon yf hit be varied so to better befit the noble stomack. Flower broune hath deemones therein, as one may telle from hits foule smekynge, but by wey of a gode beetynge the deemones have been fortaken from a flower white. Thus flower white is moost costly, and moost used by gentil menn.

    Gode Lorde Kinge Richard --

    Bon et belle! We shalle yow seen ful short; yower cosins aren especially broughtten solaas by thyse act. We shal kepe for ye a grete deel of strewen-berries in wayte of yower visitacioun.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Elas, myne youngest chylde and onlye daughter hast been o'ercoome by thyse anime, and yspendest e'er shilling in her pocket on diveres bookes of sayme.

    ReplyDelete
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