Affayres Presente

Geffrey hath sayd I ought to speke of affayres presente and of courtlie gossip. Here is some gossip for yow: Constanze de Castelle is a bytch and I hate hir.

As for affayres presente, let us seen what the town cryer hath sayd:

THRE MENN CROSSHEN TO DEETH AT LONDON PREMIR OF HUCHOUNES WERKES.

Atte premir of the werkes of Hugh of Eglington, who be clepen “Huchoun” for causes nat beknowen*, in a manifeste of manye of hys meynee, dede rampeth on the platteform whilst he sange The Aventures of Arthure, ful ycwellynge thre menn in swych deede. Huchoun pleynte and tolde the thringe to moven ybak, but ne dede he nat don awey the avauncynge folke, who creyed “Swoote Susanne, Swoote Susanne!” whych be hys moost wel belovede poem.

“Divers menn weren crosshed to deeth ower stempen,” sayd William Walworth inne declaracioun. The persounes deede ne were wooten nat atte tyme thyse informacioun was gathered. In alle, thre deyed in the desastre.

*Ywit he be so cleped because of hys devocioun to estupide “anime” shewes from the oryent.

I shoulde nat lesse my childeren to seen thyse anime shewes. I have seen what hit doth – hit maketh menne wisshe to seen nat no thynge but anime, and neightest thou knowest, thy childeren are donnynge animal clothyng and “yiffyng” eche othere.

A, my childeren. Sin hit be sommer, they goon oute forto pley a gretely deel. But to morrowe we shal goon out togetheres, forto gathere strewen-berries. From hem I shal make a gode breede ower cake, mo bet than thatte yvel breede I assayed to maken afore.

KdS