Tournamente of Photographie Readere Conteste! (and newes of Kente)

Mes Trescherez Lecteurz,

Goodbye to the custoum hous! Ich haue my laboures ydoon ther, and acquittede myselfe wel yn seruice of my lorde the kynge, and nowe ich am ferre from Londoun wyth yts fishmongeres and yts werring factions and yts armees of rattes. Nevir ayein shal ich haue to listen the while Nichol Brembre doth yammere on and on about hys newe hummer limousyne and the puissance of the subwooferes yn hys hoome theatre (long tyme, ywis, ich had thoghte a 'subwoofer' merely to be an verye smal hounde). Nevir ayein shal ich heare speculacioun of the woole trade whanne ich go to the watir-cooler, thogh ich shal soore misse the manye conversaciounes we dide haue concerynge 'Lost.'

And Kente ys right fayre and temperate yn the goode moneth of Juin. To kepe bisy ich haue hadde the honoure of beynge placed on a commission of the pees (grant merci, Sire Burley!), to keep ordre yn this fayre shire. Lowyses mood doth improue ech daye, especiallye as he hath lernede ther beth an clubbe nearbye in which hip-hoppe is yplayed. And the swote joye of fadirhood ys incresed yn myn herte, for my owene deere sone Thomas ys backe for the summere, aftir hauynge wel seruede the Duk of Lancaster yn Espayne. Weeklie he inviteth freendes ovir for cricket, but that beth merelye an excuse to sitte yn the yerde and drynke of ale – the whiche ys just fyne wyth me, for the man nedeth a breke.

As for this litel blogge, ich am ystricken wel nigh deef and blynde by wondere at how manye good folk wishe to rede of my japes and the travailes of myn familie. Ich do humblie yive grete thankes until all of yow for yower intereste yn the litel matirs of my lyf and my werke.

And lo, my bisynesse doth prosper. Thurgh zazzle, my trustie weavere the Wyf of Bathe and ich haue ysolde CC t-shirtes! Twyce hundrede men and women clothed yn myn liverie ys a grete affinitee yndeed, a right ful and grande retinue of loyal foolk.

For to celebrate, ich wolde haue a tournamente of photographie. Taak a picture of yowerself or yower freendes werynge myn liveree, and yf it pleseth yow then sende yt to me at daliaunce@hotmail.com. Ich and my famille shal juge them basid on skilful composicioun, amusynge situaciones, offensiveness to John Gowere, and noble bearynge. The moost notable picturez shal be yposted on thys litel blogge, and the takeres of the III beste picturez shal receyve eyther a speciale limited-editione chaucer blogge t-shirte or els the chaucer blogge t-shirte of ther choyce.*

Yf thou hast nat yet a t-shirte and wolde fayne buye oon, ther haue ben manye t-shirtes ymaad for thys blogge thurgh Zazzle. The syte kan be longe and confusynge, so ich shal liste the standardes and myn personale fauorytes heer for to ese yower taske of serchynge. Do remembre that thou kanst modifie eny shirte, makynge yt a differente coloure or a different type of garmente:

Basic Fan T-Shirte

Johannes Gower is a Wankere T-Shirte

How queynte! (buy nat thys shirte yf thou knowst nat what it doth signifie)

'Woldstow haue my shifte thyn voweles?'

'John/Eleanor Rykener is my hero(ine)'

Grant merci a thousande tymes for yower intereste yn thys blogge and yn myn liverie! Ich do hope that thys tournamente of t-shirte photographie shal be ful of muche laughter and solaas, and yive yow, myn rederes, a fyne opportunitee to displaye yower talentes.

Ich do promise yow a verray and trewe postynge ful of sentence and soolas yn dayes to come, but do yive me a litel tyme for to reste, for thynges are yet crazye arounde heere. Ich haue ben ful bisy settynge up the hous, and everye tyme ich do posicioun an item of furniture, even some thynge as simple as a chayre or stool, Philippa doth make grete crye and doth moue yt. She carrieth a boke written yn straunge caracteres the whiche she calleth ‘fange shewaie.’ Thys ‘fange shewaie’ doth telle her yn what places everye thynge muste be putte, and ich do thynke yt muste also contayne secrete formulaes for dryvynge me ynto madnesse as wel.

Le Vostre

GC

* TECHNICALITEES OF THE TOURNAMENT OF PHOTOGRAPHIE: Myn emaile conneccioun yn Kente ys basicallye medievale, so plese kepe the fyle sizes ful smale and modeste whanne ye sende yn the picturez. Yf thou sende yn a picture, do knowe that it coulde likelie appeare on thys blogge, so sende yt nat yf thou best shye. Al entrantes shal be identifiede by yiven name or pseudonym al oon. Yf thou art oon of the III grand prize wynneres, ich wille require an mailynge addresse to whiche to sende thyn wynnynge t-shirte, the whiche addresse ich wille aske aftir the conteste beth finishede. Al of thys doth brynge me yn mynde of a jeste: Yn to what maner of competicioun are fayre maydes ylured by Anglo-Saxon fraternitee brotheres? A hwaet t-shirte conteste!